In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
