I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
