If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
