This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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