Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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