You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
