I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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