By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
