there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
