Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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