doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
