I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
