There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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