halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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