i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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