Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
