I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
