Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
