Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
