I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i came on her dog
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
