I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Don't EVER smell your tampon
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
