speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
