Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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