grandma shit on top of the toilet
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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