Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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