Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
