I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
