im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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