Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
