Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I have post one night stand depression
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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