I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
