haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
