its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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