Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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