I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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