ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
