i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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