Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
