she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
