My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
