this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
