Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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