Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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