Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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