It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Randomize