he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
