8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
