you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
