phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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