I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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