So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
