Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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