He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
