Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Randomize
