i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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