ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
