My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
