..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
